I am jealous of my best friend/sister.
For over 20 something years, my sister and I have been super close. We did everything together and went everywhere together.
But, for the last few years, I basically hid from her. Well, not just her, from the world.
My sister has always been skinny, even after she had her baby (the first one), she went right back to being skinny. I was always the fat one in the group. The one who looked like she could stand to lose 100 lbs.
And, it took its toll on my mind. So one day I started to hide. I would not answer her calls or I would give some lousy excuse about why I couldn’t hang with her and her friends. And, it wasn’t that I didn’t want to hang with her, I did. We always had fun together. But, my mind/heart couldn’t take any more of the “looks”. You know the ones people give you. Plus, the pictures we took together left me feeling ashamed of myself and embarrassed to be her friend.
It has been so long since we talked that I highly doubt she still considers me her sister.
But, I am extremely proud of her. She has a great family and embraces life fully. One day, I wish to apologize to her for disappearing on her and to hopefully spend time and get to know my “nieces” again.
I think I confessed enough today. Ja Ne.