Holding Back

I’m holding back my love since it’s painful, staying up late at night writing songs about you. Wondering why you can never stay faithful. Please understand, I just wish to be your angel. I don’t dream of some make believe fairyland. I only want to be special. Why did you have to withdraw from me? Closed yourself off. When I’m wide open for all to see.

Even though I too am in pain, you don’t see this. Instead, I’m left sitting here crying out and cursing your name. Left to question and reminisce. How did we get here? Will it ever end? Got me over here quoting Edgar Allan Poe and William Shakespeare. As you let my heart descend. Being ripped apart, torn to pieces. As I watch through a window. You loving another while she screams to Jesus. Like you’re some hero. You couldn’t even see it coming. As I watch my demon get unleash onto you mortal beings.

Drip. Drip. Drip. Where am I? As I looked up I saw my busted lip. Completely taken back, I was horrified. Drip. Drip. Drip. Who is this person staring at me in the mirror? A feeling, not my own taking me on a guilt trip. Drip. Drip. Dripped. A face I didn’t even recognize as my own was causing me to have a panic attack. Clothes all in disarray; torn and ripped. Drip. Drip. Drippy. Questions being thrown left and right. Left me feeling all kinds of snippy. Drip. Drip. Drips. Do you here that? What is this sensation at my fingertips? Drip. Drip. Drip. As I stared at my hand, flashes come about. Her smile, his eyes, as she broke out. Then, I remember agreeing to this partnership. Drip. Drip. Drip. After, I said yes. Was all that could be heard as I held onto the pistol grip.


*All this is MAKE BELIEVE. NONE of this happens or WILL happen.


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